Space is friendly. And why you should burn your to-do lists!
I’m an extroverted introvert, so I constantly flirt between being at the heart of things or retreating to a quiet room.
Somewhere in my early teens the introverted part of me was taken hostage by her louder twin sister, she was quietened down, and the presidential run for the office of popularity began. So long as I was popular and my diary was full, then all was well. Wasn’t it?
If I was busy then my life would be deemed a success. I would “be loved” and according to my ego, “safe.” I can see now that I was not of my ‘right mind’ because I was stuck in experiences from my past. Memories like being bullied in high school can still evoke feelings of fear, panic, sadness, humiliation, guilt and shame. These internal scars left me with a desire to be accepted and loved by others because this would keep me safe – wouldn’t it?
My need to be loved and my fear that I wasn’t led to a reality of over achieving and striving. Now when I look back through the lenses of truth and compassion, I see a young woman looking for approval (and yes love). The idea of loving within and taking restful pauses was an impossibility because it was not yet part of my consciousness.
I now understand that unconditional love had been ejected from my inner dialogue. In my mission to grow-up, I’d forgotten that my essence is love and fallen slave to the illusions of fear; and lack. I’ve had to learn that what I need most is a constant stream of this love; and that its seeds grow inside me. They didn’t teach that at school and I didn’t believe my Mother when she told me I was “enough.” So, I looked on the outside like we all do when we are uneducated or perhaps it’s over educated?
In my journey of unravelling the ego’s tricks, I have been giving myself more space and filling it with love. At first it was a struggle to fully receive love because it goes against years of filling the space with things I do that prove I am loved.
I have discovered an abundant source of wisdom that’s deeper than the ocean and brighter than the sun. That voice speaks to me in the pauses of my day; as well as in my dreams. I am unravelling the threads that need unpicking and am discovering a faith in a universe that is perfectly ordered, and made up of love.
And in this space in time, I am plugging into the true source of all creation. I understand that my skills are gifts to be honoured and shared with this world; from a space of unconditional, universal and irreversible love. And that fear is always a choice.
I’ve learned that space is in fact friendly and that there is a beautiful safety in allowing myself to be held, supported and directed by THE one true voice that is unconditional love… Love is not something to fear, it’s in fact the exact opposite. What a turn of events this is.
As a woman of spirit, there is no room in my life for illusions because I am a disciple of love. There is a part of me that has been unleashed, my prodigal sister has returned. My introverted side is out of her early retirement and holding my hand. She’s inviting me to enjoy the beauty of every day. To read children’s stories and lose myself in their magic. It’s time to dance wildly in the moonlight and to move to the beat of a gigantic pulsating, sacred drum. She wants me to burn the to-do lists and follow my passion for love; and life. I answer with a simple yes…
I am grateful that I have the tools to make sense out of what is really true in the present. It’s a relief to be able to unhook myself effectively, and return back to love and a faith that can move mountains. If you would like to join me in this journey of making love your business; get in touch.
We also have limited spaces available on our all woman Yoga & Life Coaching Retreat & expedition to India 12-26 March 2018. This retreat will heal and celebrate the divine feminine energy within you, connect you to your body’s natural wisdom and raise your vibrations. Message me if you’d like to know more…
And finally, if you are looking for an uplifting read that will open up new doorways into a bigger, brighter world, check out www.sacredecstatics.com and the work of Hillary and Brad Keeney. I attended their intensive retreat in June and I am experiencing major shifts thanks to their teachings.
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