What we can all learn about Megxit – a Certified Coach’s perspective

I have found myself gripped by Megxit the last few days and as a Certified Coach and Communications Expert of 23 years, I believe this situation is one that offers a lot of learning for us in all areas of our life, especially in the workplace… This blog is dedicated to creating real-life conversations at work, however it can be used in any area of conflict that may be happening in your life right now… Here goes.

I believe there is always a way through conflict back into peace and I wanted to share some of my learnings with you. I have no idea if this will ever be read by royal aides, but if it helps one person to create a new, resonate pathway in any of their relationships then it was worth the effort.

Similar to marriage, we sign a contract when we enter employment and like all relationships, our agreements to ’work’ together should not be taken lightly. How many contracts sit gathering dust in forgotten draws? This in my opinion offers potential risks because to keep our relationships healthy, we must practice a variety of skills that allow us to air our differences as individuals and build bridges as a unified tribe.

Firstly, entering into any conflict offers us an opportunity to listen to what is being said and discover new ways to create together… As we enter into this field, a strong alliance will be needed that agrees that all voices will be seen, heard and held, and that there will be no ‘right or wrongs’ because point scoring will close the conversation down, and create damage.

If you truly listen with your heart, you will be able to spot somebody who is moving from fear or lack, no matter how menacing they may seem on the outside. When anger, blame or judgement are present, these emotions offer a smokescreen for deeper feelings of pain. Inside, there is a scared inner child calling out for acceptance, how can you hold the space for this human to feel like he or she belongs? If you are at peace with yourself, then this should come more easily and if not, then you have your own inner work to do.

When we encounter a disgruntled voice, it’s important to remember that they are a voice in the wider ecosystem that is speaking out about something that is important (perhaps for them or for the institution as a whole). We tend to look for safety in numbers and not everyone is willing to speak up, so this could be part of a wider issue that requires your attention. This may be part of a wider call for change that is essential for your business, department, team and so on.

Going back to the Monarchy, as new generations evolve, the Royal family must shift into new ways of being and doing if it is to survive. I believe this is a call for progression, change and evolution. As with any fall-out, there are many warning signs that danger is on the horizon – the territory becomes dangerous because the red flags where not discussed and resolutions agreed. When we fail to listen to warning signs, a revolution occurs. Megan and Harry stand for change and ’being different’ and when this is not welcomed within any relationship, those highlighted will move towards the outer circle, and eventually leave altogether. Success must therefore be based upon unity, empathy and accepting each others’ differences and the unique gifts this brings to the table.

My top tips for navigating the storm:

– See the other, know yourself and look at the wider context of what is being discussed. What is being called for here, what is the opportunity? – Always set a shared intention at the start of the meeting. – Listen to what is being said, reflect this back and ask, “is that correct?” When the other/s agree, you know that you have heard them and they should feel heard. Then you can respond. If all parties are given space to share and feel heard, a new pathway will appear. – Do not be in a rush to complete the meeting and get to the end – it may feel uncomfortable but there is real juice in the process of sharing, listening and creating together. – At the end of the meeting, mutually agree on one outcome (even if it is one small step) and set a deadline. – Appoint someone neutral as support to help all parties to progress. – Understand, that not every relationship can be salvaged but you can still create ongoing change if you are willing to go the distance.

Get in touch if you would like to continue the conversation…

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