10May

Start within – the mindful roadmap to empowering mental health

Written by Karen Heras-Kelly. Posted in Blog, Blog Home, Uncategorized Written by Karen Heras-Kelly on . Posted in Blog, Blog Home, Uncategorized

This week is Mental Health Awareness Week and there’s never been a better time to begin a new wellbeing practice. Are you ready to create a self-caring and empowering relationship within you?

Last week, I wrote about the importance of creating powerful conversations within you, so today’s focus is practical and provides a how-to-do mindfulness roadmap, as well as an easy access heartfulness exercise to practice. (If you would like to know more about why it matters, you can catch up https://www.atribecalledwoman.com/category/blog/

Here’s my mini mindfulness roadmap on how to start a powerful inward conversation TODAY:

  1. Create a space to be with yourself and agree a time limit. Turn devices on silent and place the faces down – better still put them in another room.
  2. Check in with your perspective? How are you approaching this conversation and what needs to be in place for you to be fully present and mindful? (Top tip: adopt a beginner’s mind perspective and give yourself permission to explore).
  3. If stepping into your being feels strange, scary or you are in avoidance in any way, take a moment to loosen up. Play a song you love, close your eyes, breathe and feel the music in your body. Now you are ready to go deeper.
  4. Spend five minutes, simply breathing and listening to your own breath in silence. If unwelcome thoughts come along, simply breathe them out – breathe in peace, breathe out distractions. Remember you are not your thoughts, you are simply observing them. 
  5. Choose one question you would like to focus on? (Who am I? What’s my dream? What is my purpose? What do I need to let go of in my life? What do I currently not have in my life that I would like more of?) Hold the question and allow your inner knowing to rise – work with the same question for one week and see what wants to be revealed. Some questions can be lifelong companions. Learn to love these enquiry questions and their meaning and you will discover many ways to rise. 
  6. Remember, you are always at choice: What choices will you make today and from what place? Who will you be when you’re doing?

You don’t need to be a meditative monk to be mindful..

What I love about this work, is that it invites us to get creative and find new ways to work within. Some days there is a limit on time and focus, but that doesn’t mean you need to skip your inward conversation and journey. 

Here is one of my quick heartfulness recovery go-to practices:

Remove screens, close your eyes, put your hand on your heart and say silently to yourself, I am here. Keep breathing and saying, I am here and observe, how you relax into this moment. Spend anything from one minute to twenty minutes doing this simple, yet powerful practice. This exercise really works, so do yourself a huge favour and engage…

This blog is part of a Powerful Conversations series written by Karen Heras-Kelly, which includes the following articles: 

  • Building bridges one conversation at a time
  • Listen to reconnect
  • Now is the time for leaders to recover to self
  • When I say Powerful Conversation, you assume?
  • Make your dreams bigger than your limiting beliefs
  • Start by creating powerful conversations within you 

You can catch up on the full series at https://www.atribecalledwoman.com/category/blog/ Karen is a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach, Leadership facilitator, meditation and creative visualisation expert. Karen is the founder of A Tribe Called Woman and the Breathe Time at work project.

07Apr

When I say powerful conversation, you assume…?

Written by Karen Heras-Kelly. Posted in Blog, Blog Home Written by Karen Heras-Kelly on . Posted in Blog, Blog Home

This is my fourth article in my Powerful Conversations series and writing it has really got me thinking, in a good way. I’m reflected on some of my recent powerful conversations and realised that these often rise from a place of challenge or a desire for change. There is a definite pull towards a set outcome and change I’m committed to. 

At this point, I’ve tuned into my intuition or inner knowing and I’m following a path that will see me create a space to speak, listen, feel, agree or disagree and then (hopefully) build a new agreement. Or at the very least, agree to reflect and reconnect with the idea of a new outcome next time.  I realise that conversations feel transformational even if the end goal is a long way away because investing time to be with another human feels good when I move from an open heart and mind.

Often when we approach a powerful conversation we have already made our mind how it will be:

This is all very nice so far isn’t it. But here’s the thing, often when we approach a powerful conversation we have already made our mind how it will be, what we will experience, how we will feel and if it will be a success. Feelings like stress, dread, trepidation can overtake what is really happening in the moment and diminish the opportunity to be seen, heard and understood from all sides. What if the biggest gift you could give to someone today was to say, “I’ve never thought of it like that, that’s really interesting, thank you for sharing.”

Breaking free of the old mould:

Without taking time to reflect, often we have framed the conversation in a certain way, based upon our own life experiences and through automatic lenses or a rigid perspective. I hear these words a lot, “I really hate confrontation, which automatically creates an assumption that the conversation will be difficult and painful.” When you show up from this place, it’s likely that you will appear defensive, rigid and closed, and it will show in your face, words and body language.

This is where the commitment to sustainable change becomes essential because without this approach, a resonate outcome for all will be hard to reach. It requires some inner processing and clarity because you are required to both stand in your own shoes and adopt a resonant perspective, as well as see the world through different eyes, only then are you freed up to truly listen and create. 

Karen’s work as a Certified leadership facilitator, coach and visualisation expert empowers you to have high level, powerful and expansive conversations.

Let me give you an example…

If I invited you to engage in a powerful conversation with me how would you feel? What would your first (automatic) response be? What would you assume about me, the conversation and its impact on you? Most importantly, would you be open to the experience?

It is true to say that nearly all humans I have ever met (including myself) have some kind of issue with the idea of power, they want more of it, they fear it, they dislike it, they rebel against it and so on.

Several years ago, I taught at my local university within the faculty of business and law, and asked students across two classes to bring examples of powerful campaigns in for discussion. Their response astounded me, every student from a class of 45 translated the word powerful negatively collecting images focused around nicotine, cancer, war etc. But hope was not totally lost, as one student showcased a different perspective on powerful. Her story communicated the positive impact loving your body (regardless of its outer form) can have on self-esteem. 

BUT the real takeaway from this article is this:

What if the request for a powerful conversation could be a spark that lit you and others up from the inside? What if my intention was to tell you what I saw in you, how you made me feel and how much I valued our relationship? 

These words stand as an invitation to create some space for heart-warming (and powerful) conversations with others – because who said that all powerful conversation need to be steeped in negative conflict? What if this could be a whole hearted and glorious experience for all, now that’s a wonderful perspective to adopt?

Here’s a few tips to get you started:

  • Before you dive in take some time to clear your assumptions and choose a perspective that excites you and makes you feel alive.
  • Then reflect on their impact on you, how they make you feel and what they bring to your day/week etc? 
  • When you think of this person or the topic that you would like to discuss, what do you feel, what do you believe and what do you want them to take away? By accessing your own feelings, you can really bring the conversation to life and that’s very exciting.
  • Then step into the circle, and honour their contribution – making sure you pay close attention to your own impact as you do so?

This blog is part of a Powerful Conversations series written by Karen Heras-Kelly. Karen is a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach, Leadership facilitator, meditation and creative visualisation expert. Karen is the founder of A Tribe Called Woman and the Breathe Time at work project.

05May

Start by creating powerful conversations within you

Written by Karen Heras-Kelly. Posted in Blog, Blog Home Written by Karen Heras-Kelly on . Posted in Blog, Blog Home

Hello you, welcome to THE most important conversation you will have today, an empowering conversation with you. Are you ready to take an inward journey?

Before, you dive in I want to share these insights with you:

  1. Saying yes to creating powerful, meaningful and empowering conversations is a daily choice. It requires practice, a beginner’s mind (because every day is a new start) and trust (bucket loads of it). 
  2. It requires a curiosity to go deeper than surface chatter and perhaps you are curious about who you are and the meaning of your life? 
  3. A level of understanding of how you show up when you feel empowered and how you behave when you feel triggered is helpful but it doesn’t replace a willingness to keep starting over because that is what an introspective practice looks like. What happened yesterday is technically, old news. 
  4. It requires you to believe in you, to know you are worthy of taking up space and being heard because you have something to contribute. Ultimately, it’s about discovering your inner voice and speaking words that matter to you, these words can be used as a way to connect and disconnect, where need be. You do not need to be part of every conversation, so make your choices clearly and remember, the word “no” is a full sentence.

Why this matters?

If you create the space and tune into your inner voice, all other conversations can flow from this place. It’s easier when you listen deeply to yourself and build in space to check-in. And you can more readily hear the (often unspoken) needs of others.

For example, one of your colleagues volunteers for a new project but you sense that there is a need to lighten her/his load. You fear making an incorrect judgement, what she/he is saying sounds positive and yet, there is an alarm bell ringing. You spend some time reconnecting to yourself and realise that you have a longing to support her/him to see if more work is the true requirement. This is when you take your next step and hold your second powerful conversation).

The more you connect and honour your feelings, the greater the trust between you and you. If you are not in fear then what is possible for you, what quality is available? You can check-in by asking: If I wasn’t experiencing fear right now, what would I do?

Making space to breathe supports awareness of what is happening and needed, this is your way out and through.

When you realise your strength and power, it’s hard to feel compromised by others or situations that are out of your control. It’s also easier to feel connected too. Every time you check in with yourself and choose to unhook from limiting self-talk, it’s a big personal win. Focusing on your inner needs, mental health and wellbeing will support you to express who you are and embody your highest potential.

So I invite you to take five minutes today to tune into your heart and breathe in, and out. Check-in with your feelings at the beginning, midway and end. What are you noticing? Has your mood improved? 

Tune into next week’s blog during Mental Health Awareness Week (UK) and I will share my mini roadmap on how to start a powerful inward conversation.

This blog is part of a Powerful Conversations series written by Karen Heras-Kelly, which includes the following articles: 

  • Building bridges one conversation at a time
  • Listen to reconnect
  • Now is the time for leaders to recover to self
  • When I say Powerful Conversation, you assume?
  • Make your dreams bigger than your limiting beliefs

You can catch up on the full series at https://www.atribecalledwoman.com/category/blog/ Karen is a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach, Leadership facilitator, meditation and creative visualisation expert. Karen is the founder of A Tribe Called Woman and the Breathe Time at work project.

31Mar

NOW is the time for leaders to recover to self

Written by Karen Heras-Kelly. Posted in Blog, Blog Home Written by Karen Heras-Kelly on . Posted in Blog, Blog Home

Creative leadership has never been more important and the leadership being called for is harmonious, connected, intuitive and empowering. 

But here’s the thing, harmony does not come naturally to us humans. Harmony certainly isn’t an easy sell because to create harmony we must be truthful, often speaking words that make us feel uncomfortable and naming the elephant in the room. Note to self: harmony is not people pleasing, suppressing your voice to keep the peace and so on, it is taking an active stance in the ongoing evolution of our lives, businesses, communities and planet. Stay true to your values, use your body, mind and spirit to embody them and you will always find a way to communicate what matters.

What I know to be true When you create space for your own evolution and travel within, you will know what is required and discover insights that support you and others, to find new pathways. Those seemingly difficult conversations emerge more easily from an awakened heart and mind. Please put the whipping stick down, get off the hamster wheel and create ‘breathe time’ in your day – over time you will emerge brighter.

To be connected we are required to be visible, to cultivate intimacy based on our interactions is a choice. To choose to stay open and look at life through different lenses and imagine what it is like for the other before we judge or critique them is a practice. It’s one that begins with being kind within yourself first and then expanding this olive branch out to others. To see people for who they really are rather than projecting your own issues or desires onto them. This requires you to be vulnerable and honest with yourself and each other.

A word about intimacy: True intimacy is created when we let go of the need to acquire. Although, we are still required to give and receive. It can be uncomfortable at first because it is not our primary language (secrecy is), but once we overcome our own fears of being seen and feel safe, intimacy brings us closer to life. It keeps us alive, vibrant and in wonder. 

Holding the space: Listening, sensing and then speaking creates powerful conversations that go somewhere – Karen in action pre Covid-19

Starting a new conversation: My conversation is always practical to start with and then elevation is required to tip the balance from surviving to thriving. There has to be time to recover, to reflect to reconnect within every workplace or else your teams will be adrenaline fuelled and working from their reserves. There is only so much the body can withstand, hence with the need to self-care and then share. The benefits of this are huge because when we unite together, transformation happens.

Companies with diverse, balanced and healthy teams perform better it’s that simple. But as a coach who specialises in supporting others, it’s unlikely that you will find leaders putting their hands up and asking for help – if this is not part of the cultural landscape already. Therefore, companies need to create the environment for well-being first.  

When good health is flowing, creativity, collaboration and problem solving takes on a new dimension. I’d go as far as to say that work becomes play, that fun is here to stay. Yes even in a global pandemic.

This blog is part of a Powerful Conversations series written by Karen Heras-Kelly. Karen is a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach, Leadership facilitator, meditation and creative visualisation expert. Karen is the founder of A Tribe Called Woman and the Breathe Time at work project.

21Apr

Make your dreams bigger than your limiting beliefs

Written by Karen Heras-Kelly. Posted in Blog, Blog Home Written by Karen Heras-Kelly on . Posted in Blog, Blog Home

This blog is dedicated to the power of dreaming and to you, the person reading. I have a personal invitation for you, no matter where you are in your journey or what you are dealing with right now, build in time to recover to self and dream again.

My own personal experience with dreaming goes back to my childhood, where I would lose myself in books and create imaginary places that allowed me to be wild, free and inventive. Today, I consider myself to be a professional day-dreamer and this ability has stood me in good stead, as an adult. 

My professional dreaming credentials: I’m generally a magnetic person and my success rate at materialising my dreams over the years surprised even me. I started creating vision boards in 2001 and allowed myself to dream big. My dreams saw me working in LA, NYC and experiencing events like The Oscars and Fashion Weeks. I also saw a family of my own, which took much longer to materialise. What is now clear to me is this, dreams both big and small, evolve from small seeds and over time develop into shape, and form. If you dream often enough and believe in your vision, you will create wonder. How magical is this?

Here’s a fun picture of me living my old dreams with Eva Mendes in LA.

The road to dreaming is not always smooth: This is all sounding rather easy right now isn’t it? Perhaps you are already sensing that there is more to this story? And you would be right because four years ago, something happened to my ability to dream. A tsunami of personal, challenging events impacted my ability and desire to dream, my days became about survival and taking one-step in front of the other. The idea of dreaming became another pressure and my focus was needed inside of myself, it was time to retreat, feel and heal.

This was alarming to me because I even stopped remembering my night dreams, which is a first. Although being woken up every three hours by my baby girl played a part in this too. I wondered if I had lost my ability to dream?

Then, about two years ago, I had a profound dream. One that showed me my future and also saw the creation of a book written by Hillary Keeney called The Pinacle Prayer Book. A new doorway was opening inside of me, my dreams began to return, I was awakening.

Saying yes to creative imagining (your dreams): More recently I spoke to one of my peers about dreaming and she shared that she was working with a new client whose dreams were bigger than her own. She decided to dedicate a new practice to her own dreams and was on a mission to expand her sights. A lightbulb went off in my own mind, “yes this is life enhancing work, dreaming is vital to me too.”

In 2020, I began a practice of my own called, “hopes and dreams for the year.”  This time I took a different approach because my life has also taught me to stay open to what is being given in this present moment. To be grounded in real time is essential to my body, mind and soul.

Staying open and believing is vital: I’ve learned to widen the net while scooping my dreams. For example, while thinking about my business, I wrote these words; “attract profitable, heart-loving, home balanced work.” Looking back today, I can see that this actually happened in a way that allowed me to co-create on a higher level with my dreams. Rather than getting too caught up in the what and how, I choose to stay open and this radiates out like a lighthouse on a dark night.

Taking active steps towards my dreams by having powerful conversations with like-minded individuals supports me to materialise them and I feel deeply grateful to those who believe in me, and support my work (you know who you are). 2020 was a landmark year for my business and I’m convinced that dreaming, observing the impact of my dreams and responding from a place of self-belief are vital ingredients.

Here are my learnings as a professional dreamer:

Let’s face it COVID19 has created challenges we usually only see in the movies. Our sense of freedom, connection, individuality, mental and physical health have all been seriously impacted, the world has changed and we have too.

Pain, trauma, unwanted change, limiting beliefs can result in us choosing to play it safe and minimise our dreams. This is part of our inner survival system and sometimes, putting one step in front of the other is enough.

It takes time to recover from hardships and you can’t push the river. We need to heal before we can fully transform or else we are still operating from an old sense of self. Time away from your dreams is actually a very important step because your attention is required to process and let go of the past. 

Are you ready to cast your net back out to sea?

While it’s important to take time to slow down, recover and allow yourself to feel your feelings, it’s also important to remember to rise again. Without taking a conscious decision to dream again, you will be pulled down into SOS mode – are you ready to cast your net back out to sea?   

Do you want to go on a new dream scaping mission that will allow you to open to life and support your wellbeing? Your realisation of where you are is your starting point, are you allowing your dreams to rise again? Have you cut off your ability to hope for a life that excites and honours you, one that connects to your life purpose? Are you ready to step into trust and longing to elevate your choices?

Karen at work as a Certified leadership facilitator, coach and visualisation expert empowers you to have high level, powerful and expansive conversations.

Here are my top tips to get you back into the dream zone:

  • Be clear and true about your dream/s? What will make you feel alive, joyous and express your values? If growth is important to you, ask what will grow me on a higher level?
  • Be willing to work with life and what is being given in real time? You may be given an experience/relationship that is placed on your path to grow you in a direction that is part of your dream. By being rigid with your vision, you may be missing opportunities under your nose.
  • Time is linear – be patient, love yourself and your journey at all times, and make space (inside and outside of you) for the new to flow in. A soft, open and happy heart responds well to living the dream.

This blog is part of a Powerful Conversations series written by Karen Heras-Kelly, which includes the following articles: 

  • Building bridges one conversation at a time
  • Listen to reconnect
  • Now is the time for leaders to recover to self
  • When I say Powerful Conversation, you assume?

You can catch up on the full series at https://www.atribecalledwoman.com/category/blog/ Karen is a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach, Leadership facilitator, meditation and creative visualisation expert. Karen is the founder of A Tribe Called Woman and the Breathe Time at work project.

24Mar

Listen to reconnect by Karen Heras-Kelly

Written by Karen Heras-Kelly. Posted in Blog, Blog Home Written by Karen Heras-Kelly on . Posted in Blog, Blog Home

 Wellbeing, mental health and how to start new conversations

Covid19 may have halted the way we live our lives, but it has also created wider opportunities to reset and re-emerge. We have all been given time to reset the balance within ourselves, to look at the old stories (and beliefs) we are recreating in life, to clean up, let go of judgements and step into creative leadership.

Perhaps this was the energy we entered into at the start of the pandemic, but one year down the line, our resilience and patience are being tested. So how do you truly support yourself and your people to rise through adversity in the here and now?

Let’s start with listening and everyday conversations:

  • If your people are sick in any way, it will be present in the conversations that are happening or not happening. 
  • Take time to make space for seemingly pointless, everyday conversations and listen with your heart for the cues that reveal where they really are. This does not need to be a complicated process, a simple, “how are you feeling today?” works well.
  • If you tune in, really tune in, you will often hear any words of distress hidden within seemingly everyday conversations. Often, by acknowledging what you are hearing and sensing, you can help someone to feel supported and encourage them to take a positive step.
  • If you listen with your ears what do you hear? 
  • If you listen with your eyes what do you see? 
  • If you listen with your heart, what do you feel when you engage with a colleague who is struggling on the inside?
  • And if you listen with your instincts what do you know? 

Do not automatically trust what you necessarily see (especially through a screen) or what someone is saying, it’s not easy to ask for help, to say I’m struggling when mental health is an issue. This is the time when ironically, we want to hide, pretend and shut down, it’s a time when the pseudo ego can take over. 

But here’s the truth, the time to act is before someone goes into survival mode. In many ways, a proactive strategy is required, as when survival mode is in place it’s going to take more focus to rebuild your people.

Creating an open space to listen builds bridges from here to there – Karen in action during a feminine leadership training pre Covid19.

Build in time to have an everyday, Powerful Conversation and create an environment of safety because job insecurity is creating extra pressure and anxiety. “Hey, I wanted to check in on you today, how are you feeling at the moment?” If you have any data you can add it, “I’m noticing you’ve been quiet in zoom meetings, so I wanted to connect?” Ask about family, animals, hobbies, their favourite food, music, anything other than work and allow yourself to relax into the conversation to see what is needed.

Remember it’s not your responsibility to fix, however by listening you are creating a bridge from there to here and strengthening your relationships.

This blog is part of a Powerful Conversations series written by Karen Heras-Kelly. Karen is a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach, Leadership facilitator, meditation and creative visualisation expert. Karen is the founder of A Tribe Called Woman and the Breathe Time at work project.

Follow us

Connect with us for updates and information.

Follow us

Connect with us for updates and information.

Your Privacy

We respect your privacy. Please read our Privacy Policy.

icon Are you ready to fly?