Posts Tagged ‘Co-Active Coaching’

Make your dreams bigger than your limiting beliefs

This blog is dedicated to the power of dreaming and to you, the person reading. I have a personal invitation for you, no matter where you are in your journey or what you are dealing with right now, build in time to recover to self and dream again.

My own personal experience with dreaming goes back to my childhood, where I would lose myself in books and create imaginary places that allowed me to be wild, free and inventive. Today, I consider myself to be a professional day-dreamer and this ability has stood me in good stead, as an adult. 

My professional dreaming credentials: I’m generally a magnetic person and my success rate at materialising my dreams over the years surprised even me. I started creating vision boards in 2001 and allowed myself to dream big. My dreams saw me working in LA, NYC and experiencing events like The Oscars and Fashion Weeks. I also saw a family of my own, which took much longer to materialise. What is now clear to me is this, dreams both big and small, evolve from small seeds and over time develop into shape, and form. If you dream often enough and believe in your vision, you will create wonder. How magical is this?

Here’s a fun picture of me living my old dreams with Eva Mendes in LA.

The road to dreaming is not always smooth: This is all sounding rather easy right now isn’t it? Perhaps you are already sensing that there is more to this story? And you would be right because four years ago, something happened to my ability to dream. A tsunami of personal, challenging events impacted my ability and desire to dream, my days became about survival and taking one-step in front of the other. The idea of dreaming became another pressure and my focus was needed inside of myself, it was time to retreat, feel and heal.

This was alarming to me because I even stopped remembering my night dreams, which is a first. Although being woken up every three hours by my baby girl played a part in this too. I wondered if I had lost my ability to dream?

Then, about two years ago, I had a profound dream. One that showed me my future and also saw the creation of a book written by Hillary Keeney called The Pinacle Prayer Book. A new doorway was opening inside of me, my dreams began to return, I was awakening.

Saying yes to creative imagining (your dreams): More recently I spoke to one of my peers about dreaming and she shared that she was working with a new client whose dreams were bigger than her own. She decided to dedicate a new practice to her own dreams and was on a mission to expand her sights. A lightbulb went off in my own mind, “yes this is life enhancing work, dreaming is vital to me too.”

In 2020, I began a practice of my own called, “hopes and dreams for the year.”  This time I took a different approach because my life has also taught me to stay open to what is being given in this present moment. To be grounded in real time is essential to my body, mind and soul.

Staying open and believing is vital: I’ve learned to widen the net while scooping my dreams. For example, while thinking about my business, I wrote these words; “attract profitable, heart-loving, home balanced work.” Looking back today, I can see that this actually happened in a way that allowed me to co-create on a higher level with my dreams. Rather than getting too caught up in the what and how, I choose to stay open and this radiates out like a lighthouse on a dark night.

Taking active steps towards my dreams by having powerful conversations with like-minded individuals supports me to materialise them and I feel deeply grateful to those who believe in me, and support my work (you know who you are). 2020 was a landmark year for my business and I’m convinced that dreaming, observing the impact of my dreams and responding from a place of self-belief are vital ingredients.

Here are my learnings as a professional dreamer:

Let’s face it COVID19 has created challenges we usually only see in the movies. Our sense of freedom, connection, individuality, mental and physical health have all been seriously impacted, the world has changed and we have too.

Pain, trauma, unwanted change, limiting beliefs can result in us choosing to play it safe and minimise our dreams. This is part of our inner survival system and sometimes, putting one step in front of the other is enough.

It takes time to recover from hardships and you can’t push the river. We need to heal before we can fully transform or else we are still operating from an old sense of self. Time away from your dreams is actually a very important step because your attention is required to process and let go of the past. 

Are you ready to cast your net back out to sea?

While it’s important to take time to slow down, recover and allow yourself to feel your feelings, it’s also important to remember to rise again. Without taking a conscious decision to dream again, you will be pulled down into SOS mode – are you ready to cast your net back out to sea?   

Do you want to go on a new dream scaping mission that will allow you to open to life and support your wellbeing? Your realisation of where you are is your starting point, are you allowing your dreams to rise again? Have you cut off your ability to hope for a life that excites and honours you, one that connects to your life purpose? Are you ready to step into trust and longing to elevate your choices?

Karen at work as a Certified leadership facilitator, coach and visualisation expert empowers you to have high level, powerful and expansive conversations.

Here are my top tips to get you back into the dream zone:

  • Be clear and true about your dream/s? What will make you feel alive, joyous and express your values? If growth is important to you, ask what will grow me on a higher level?
  • Be willing to work with life and what is being given in real time? You may be given an experience/relationship that is placed on your path to grow you in a direction that is part of your dream. By being rigid with your vision, you may be missing opportunities under your nose.
  • Time is linear – be patient, love yourself and your journey at all times, and make space (inside and outside of you) for the new to flow in. A soft, open and happy heart responds well to living the dream.

This blog is part of a Powerful Conversations series written by Karen Heras-Kelly, which includes the following articles: 

  • Building bridges one conversation at a time
  • Listen to reconnect
  • Now is the time for leaders to recover to self
  • When I say Powerful Conversation, you assume?

You can catch up on the full series at https://www.atribecalledwoman.com/category/blog/ Karen is a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach, Leadership facilitator, meditation and creative visualisation expert. Karen is the founder of A Tribe Called Woman and the Breathe Time at work project.

The pain under the smile

Yesterday my inner peace was shattered in my front yard. We had spent most of the day in the garden enjoying the sunshine together as a family. Life was in the slow lane and we were all woozy from the heat. Walking into the front garden, we were alarmed by an ambulance and two police cars.

What are you hungry for…?

In my work as a coach, I never know what new topics will come to the table when I work with clients. And yet one essential ingredient is being able to listen with the intention of opening up new possibilities for them, even if this is simply the development of a new perspective.

Breakdowns and breakthroughs are essential change makers

In my own personal feminine quest to live, lead and love as an empowered woman, I discovered I was scared of my own lovability* (see my definition of lovability at the end) and the softness and power of my own heart. Today human lovability is often referred to as vulnerability, we’ve covered the deeper meaning with another word, which explains why there is so much confusion in our interactions. How often do you say exactly what you mean in one day?

NOW is the time for leaders to recover to self

Creative leadership has never been more important and the leadership being called for is harmonious, connected, intuitive and empowering. 

But here’s the thing, harmony does not come naturally to us humans. Harmony certainly isn’t an easy sell because to create harmony we must be truthful, often speaking words that make us feel uncomfortable and naming the elephant in the room. Note to self: harmony is not people pleasing, suppressing your voice to keep the peace and so on, it is taking an active stance in the ongoing evolution of our lives, businesses, communities and planet. Stay true to your values, use your body, mind and spirit to embody them and you will always find a way to communicate what matters.

What I know to be true When you create space for your own evolution and travel within, you will know what is required and discover insights that support you and others, to find new pathways. Those seemingly difficult conversations emerge more easily from an awakened heart and mind. Please put the whipping stick down, get off the hamster wheel and create ‘breathe time’ in your day – over time you will emerge brighter.

To be connected we are required to be visible, to cultivate intimacy based on our interactions is a choice. To choose to stay open and look at life through different lenses and imagine what it is like for the other before we judge or critique them is a practice. It’s one that begins with being kind within yourself first and then expanding this olive branch out to others. To see people for who they really are rather than projecting your own issues or desires onto them. This requires you to be vulnerable and honest with yourself and each other.

A word about intimacy: True intimacy is created when we let go of the need to acquire. Although, we are still required to give and receive. It can be uncomfortable at first because it is not our primary language (secrecy is), but once we overcome our own fears of being seen and feel safe, intimacy brings us closer to life. It keeps us alive, vibrant and in wonder. 

Holding the space: Listening, sensing and then speaking creates powerful conversations that go somewhere – Karen in action pre Covid-19

Starting a new conversation: My conversation is always practical to start with and then elevation is required to tip the balance from surviving to thriving. There has to be time to recover, to reflect to reconnect within every workplace or else your teams will be adrenaline fuelled and working from their reserves. There is only so much the body can withstand, hence with the need to self-care and then share. The benefits of this are huge because when we unite together, transformation happens.

Companies with diverse, balanced and healthy teams perform better it’s that simple. But as a coach who specialises in supporting others, it’s unlikely that you will find leaders putting their hands up and asking for help – if this is not part of the cultural landscape already. Therefore, companies need to create the environment for well-being first.  

When good health is flowing, creativity, collaboration and problem solving takes on a new dimension. I’d go as far as to say that work becomes play, that fun is here to stay. Yes even in a global pandemic.

This blog is part of a Powerful Conversations series written by Karen Heras-Kelly. Karen is a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach, Leadership facilitator, meditation and creative visualisation expert. Karen is the founder of A Tribe Called Woman and the Breathe Time at work project.

Give yourself permission to feel your feelings without judgement

Today, I celebrated myself. I was able to feel stressed and anxious while also being aware of an outpouring of love. My daughter became sick very quickly and the strength of love in my heart and witnessing the love from my parents towards us, opened my heart. I cried tears of love – it was a moment of recollection, of deep gratitude, of coming home to myself and the truth about how loved we are.

The danger of women v men and how we bring true balance into the workplace

The tide is turning in culture, the way we view ourselves and each other. Press for Progress, Me too and Time’s up campaigns fuelled by Oprah Winfrey’s speech at The Golden Globes are creating a growing global awareness around issues of sexual harassment and gender in equality, and putting increasing pressure on Business to change.

My story of wellbeing in COVID times…

My story of wellbeing in COVID times… This is a blog about self-reflections, awareness and acknowledgment. It has been written as a bridge of light for anyone who is feeling lost, alone and unsure of their next step. It also provides a healthy boost if you are committed to making an ongoing journey back home to your true self.

Waking up from the neck down

We’ve been sold a dud, led astray if you may by philosophers, psychologists and prophets. Teachings have told us that body is unimportant, yes it’s important to stay healthy and fit, but mind is the king and body the lesser queen or perhaps the sckully maid.

If it’s anything other than love, you are at war…

What does a white woman know of racism? I’m surprised to say, I know more than I realise. Last week set off a time bomb in my inner world, a vibration which was slow to start began growing, a small ember took hold and the heat started to build. Some of the stories in this blog have surprised me because they have been lying dormant for a long time, but as I wrote, memories of times where I experienced racism and sexual discrimination flooded in.

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